Parenting

How To Be More Than Just A Mum

  • January 18, 2018

A recent survey from the Office of National Statistics revealed that women take less leisure time than men – no surprise there really! The survey says that men spend an average of 43 hours per week on leisure activities compared to just 38 hours a week for women.

If you ask me, that sounds like a lot of time to yourselves – I’d love to know what time an average mum spends on leisure activities every week!

When you spend so much time with the kids it can be hard to be anything other than “mum” – or “muuuuuuuuum” if we want to be more realistic about it. Even when you work, you end up rushing straight home to your role as mum doing the school pick up, dinner, homework, bathtime and housework.

There’s obviously nothing wrong with being ‘mum’ but I think if you don’t have time to yourself doing things you love then you’ll go a little bit crazy. I think you can also start to resent your husband and kids a bit if you’re always in mum mode without a break. It’s important to have your own identity, friends and interests.

Here are my tips on how to be more than just a mum…

Take up a hobby

Do something you love. Whether it’s taking up a sport, attending an evening class, doing a course online or learning a craft. Having something that you enjoy doing can help you unwind and have some time to yourself. I’d highly recommend a hobby that takes you out of the house for a few hours!

Socialise

Go for a drink with some school mums or work colleagues. Getting dressed up and out of your mum uniform of joggers or yoga pants will make you feel like you again. A glass of wine and a giggle with some fellow mums will also help you realise you’re not the only one who needs to escape from their family now and then.

Go Shopping

If you feel like you have lost your pre-kids identity then some new clothes can make you feel like a new woman! Don’t feel guilty for spending money on yourself, you deserve it. Plus a few hours shopping on your own will help clear your head.

Have some ‘Me time’

Whatever you choose to do with your free time, make sure you have plenty of time during the week to yourself. Even if you just lock the bathroom door and soak in the bath it’s important to make time for you. Your other half is more than capable dealing with bedtime by themselves now and then.

Working

If you don’t work I definitely recommend it. Yes getting up for work and going to an office or shop is a bit rubbish sometimes and yes you do occasionally miss school or nursery events. But working lets you be someone other than mum, meet people who don’t want to talk about kids all the time and lets you use your brain again. Even a few hours a week helps and obviously so does the money!

Are you in need of taking more time for yourself? What do you do for a bit of “me time”?

Sarah

How To Be More Than Just A Mum | It's important to have your own identity and not be just mummy. Take up a hobby, socialise and check out my other tips for having some regular "me time"
Hot Pink Wellingtons
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23 Comments

  • The Rhyming Mum

    My husband’s shifts change like the weather so I can’t always make plans when I want to which often gets me down. But, going to work is my chance to enjoy hot cups of tea and adult conversation without the toddler! #sharingthebloglove

    Reply
  • Four Acorns / Quatre graines de chêne

    I recently started swimming and taking a yoga class while my brood is in school/preschool. But blogging is really what makes me feel like me again, after 10+ years of full time mothering. It doesn’t bring in money (yet!) but I think I am a better mum for it.
    #ablogginggoodtime

    Reply
  • mommyhomemanager

    Great suggestions! It is hard to keep the same identity that we had before when being a mom changes us all so much. Not that we have to be the same person…but embracing the new person and remembering that we are more than just moms is important. <3

    Reply
  • Kelly-Anne

    Oooh I’ll have to check out some of those online courses. We all need to make more for other things to keep sane.

    Reply
  • fromtoddlertotraveler

    I always wait for my daughter to go to bed before I enjoy me “me time” which usually involves a rotation of reading with a glass of wine vs exercise. I will be sad when she stops going to bed at 7. #blogstravaganza

    Reply
  • Zoe

    I have to agree with all of this, especially the point about working. For me making the jump back into work was really difficult, but it’s really helped me find myself again! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

    Reply
  • Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons

    Carving out more me time is one of my goals for this year. So far we’ve worked out that the best way is for my husband to take both kids out of the house for a couple of hours (which is exactly what he’s doing right now) – otherwise I just get the constant interruptions. It doesn’t have to be big things, but you’re so spot on, even just a bath alone can be a great way (although we really need to sort a lock on our bathroom door – ours has a key lock which we took out, because we were worried our son might lock himself in. We really need a bolt instead!) Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    Reply
  • anywaytostayathome

    I do make an effort to get some me time in, but I love how I have to make an effort to do that and my husband just gets it, just like that. I have been firmer with my time recently and it’s been a shock to the system for him! #blogstravaganza

    Reply
  • Rebecca @ Educating Roversi

    We have a 4 week old Baby currently and I’m
    EBF so chances of leisure time for myself are rare but that’s understandable.
    Before she was born i only had my son who went to bed at 7:30pm and, due to my husband working evenings, I did have a nice bit of time to myself. I took up face painting in August and havenloved practicing that, hoping to make a business out of it this year. Going out takes organisation, either on a Sunday or Monday (hubbys days off) or I have to sort a babysitter but I’m lucky to have good friends and family that allow that.

    I’m itching to get my face paints out but it’s not gonna happen just yet with Little Miss but that’s fine. I know my “me time” will come back and until then I enjoy the cuddles #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Bread

    My wife has found it hard to over the winter to be more than a mum but what helped was just meeting me for lunch during the week and making sure we did things at the weekend out of the house. #kcacols

    Reply
  • Laura (@dearbearandbean)

    I think my husband is in the minority here as he doesn’t take much time to himself. I’ve actively encouraged him to take up a hobby and he has started running. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    Reply
  • mackenzieglanville

    I agree that when I go to work I feel like I am really doing something that no only benefits my family financially but it is fun for me. It is super important we get down time. #ablogginggoodtime Also I am not sure if you are aware that Catie from Spectrum mum will no longer be hosting with Katie and myself for a blogging good time. You can still link up as usual just through Katie or myself at reflectionsfromme.com, thanks love Mac

    Reply
  • Little Ladies Big World

    I have definitely been trying to do more for me this year now that the children are that little bit older and ensuring my husband does too actually, it is so vital to being ourselves isn’t it? #Sharingthebloglove

    Reply
  • Jaki

    I know my husband definitely has more social time than me. I blog in the evenings and I have a schedule, so it’s a bit like working. I have made sure I stick to my schedule wherever possible now though and I have three nights off a week so it’s much better. I need time to myself otherwise I feel like I’m going mad. #sharingthebloglove

    Reply
  • Tubbs

    Agree with all of these. It’s easy to get completely sucked but you need time and things that belong to you that you enjoy. I found it made motherhood easier not harder, but everyone’s different 🙂

    Reply
  • Claire @ The ladybirds adventures

    My job and my blog are how I enable myself to be more than a mum. #sharingthebloglove

    Reply
  • Emma (@FrillsnDoodads)

    These are great suggestions! Me and my husband have a nice set up where we each have a “night off” to do what we want. I used to be a stay at home mum but found myself going a bit bonkers.. ended up working and that has helped, though things are very chaotic!

    Reply
  • Madeline (This Glorious Life)

    Some great suggestions here for finding ways to feel like ourselves again. I really like the suggestion of finding a new hobby or learning a new skill, something that you’ve always wanted to do but never made time for. x #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Natasha Mairs

    I love having a bit of me time, it’s what keep me sane. My favourite thing to do is have a relaxing bath then read a good book in bed #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • The Queen of Collage

    There are some great tips here #SharingtheBlogLove

    Reply
  • Laura | Dot Makes 4

    These are great ideas! It can be hard to find ‘you’ and not just being a mum. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time ?

    Reply
  • Mrs Mummy Harris (@mummyharris86)

    These are some really good points, I know when I struggled with maternity leave, the return to work helped me find my identity again! #sharingthebloglove

    Reply
  • and Jacob makes three

    Agree with all of these. I think it’s important to do something for ourselves. #KCACOLS

    Reply

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