My name is Sarah and I’m a selfish mother.
There’s a horrible lady called Miranda Devine, an Australian columnist who I can only liken to Katie Hopkins. I’m not going to link to her article because I don’t want to give her any extra web traffic, but this week she offended all working mums with an article about not letting your career make you a bad mum. Basically caring about your career makes you selfish.
In the article, Devine says “motherhood is under threat” because women are prioritising their careers over their families. Because we all know being a working mum means you think less of your kids than stay at home mums.
She also says mummy bloggers are “focusing on the mother at the expense of the child” and we’re wrong teaching women not to put everyone else first. Who said mums aren’t allowed to be happy or have a life of their own?
She also says we’re becoming “feminist warriors against the so-called gender wage gap”. So called?! And do you know why we have to be “feminist warriors” – because no one calls Dads selfish for going to work!
You might have seen my post last year “Can working mums be good mums” when I got a bit ranty about a section on Sky News along the same kind of lines. The thing is, the comments then were from a male chauvinist pig. This time it’s a woman attacking her fellow females, which in my opinion makes it even worse.
I returned to work 3 days a week when my daughter was 8 months old and left her with grandparents & nursery. I did this mainly because we needed the money to help pay the mortgage and bills.
Another reason was that I needed to use my brain, escape CBeebies and find some adults who didn’t want to talk about poo or breastfeeding. Call social services!
Does this woman think us working mums enjoy missing our kids’ first words or first steps? That not being able to attend school events doesn’t break our hearts? Or even that we like to pay hundreds of pounds out of our hard earned cash for someone else to look after our kids.
We put ourselves before our kids daily. We tidy, we cook, we clean. We do school runs, we ferry kids to after school activities, we spend our weekends taking them to birthday parties for kids we don’t even know. We spend most of our wages on them, we get up in the middle of the night to find lost teddies, we spend hours on school projects. We do all of this as well as going to work and we’re bloody exhausted.
Well, if she thinks that’s a sign of a selfish mother then she ain’t gonna like this…
Reasons why I’m a selfish mother
- I like going to work, using my brain and having adult conversations.
- Sometimes in the school holidays when Little H is in childcare I leave her there an hour or 2 longer than I need to so that I can have a bit of time to myself after finishing work.
- One day this week I saw her for 30 minutes after work because I then went out with some friends for a meal and a glass of wine.
- Now and again on a Saturday afternoon, I’ll go to town by myself even though I’ve been at work all week and away from my child.
- Sometimes I have a really long soak in the bath with my book and leave her Dad to sort dinner and play with her.
- I’ve written blog posts like this one encouraging mums to make time for themselves.
- Little H is having chicken nuggets for dinner tonight because I can’t be bothered to do anything else after a stressful day at work.
Do you know what – I’m not even sorry! I love my daughter, I like my job, and I’m an awesome mum – Little H tells me so.
I’ll leave you with this brilliant lady, Em Rusciano, who had a fantastic response to the article.
High five to the selfish working mums!
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