Before kids you can’t possibly imagine how little time you’ll have to yourself. Babies sleep a lot, surely mums can still have long bubble baths, read books or see friends?
Err…no.
I don’t have a baby any more though, I have a 5-year-old. I also have a lot more time to myself, and it’s lovely.
I thought our first school holidays would be stressful, but it’s been lovely and relaxing – and not at all expected! I work every day and so have had to organise a lot of childcare for Little H this summer – she’s spent her time between my parents, my inlaws and holiday club.
The thing is I finish work at 2:15 pm. If she’s at holiday club I’ve paid a fortune for her to be there for a full day so I’m mean and don’t pick her up until 5 pm. When she’s with her grandparents they’re all having so much fun they don’t want to bring her back until dinner time. So I’ve been getting home to an empty house at 2:30 pm most days.
I know that I really should use this time to clean the house or do errands but instead I’ve been coming home, sitting on the sofa and binge-watching House or The Gilmore Girls while eating Oreos and occasionally writing blog posts. And do you know what I don’t feel at all guilty about it!
Little H doesn’t mind she’s having great fun, and the husband doesn’t mind he’s at work anyway and couldn’t care less whether the house was tidy or not. So no reason to feel guilty.
It got me thinking about why I haven’t focused on myself sooner. In the past, if I had 5 minutes to myself I’d spend it cleaning, going to the supermarket, or running other boring errands. Instead of doing these things today I’ve just painted my nails and watched another 2 episodes of Gilmore Girls. I’ve also eaten a bag of Maltesers.
So if you’re stuck in a rut and not looking after yourself, here are my suggestions on making time for you…
Have a think about what’s important
Is it really essential that your house is spotless? I know we’d all love a completely pristine home but let’s be honest it lasts all of 5 minutes and no one even notices all your hard work so why bother? You may as well just have a nap or read a book rather than hoover. I guarantee you’ll feel happier afterwards.
Share the load
Why should you do all the housework and chores anyway? Make your other half help with the cleaning at the weekend and with bedtime during the week. Give the kids chores to do or at least make them tidy their toys away. The more help you can get with the boring stuff, the more time you’ll have to yourself for the fun stuff. Imagine having time to read a book because someone else has cooked dinner!
Take Turns
Finding the time is the hardest bit. Why not agree with your other half to take turns having a lie in? In our house, we take it in turns to get up at stupid o’clock with Little H over the weekend. The one not having a lie in has to keep her from going upstairs to disturb the snoozing! Sometimes on a quiet Sunday afternoon, my husband will take Little H to the park for an hour while I have some peace and quiet, or I’ll take her out if he wants to watch the football. It’s the best way to keep everyone happy and not bickering because we’re all tired.
Get Pampered
There’s nothing better than using your “me time” to get pampered. Book an appointment and escape the house to get your nails or hair done. Even getting your bikini line waxed is more favourable than looking after the kids sometimes!
Book a babysitter
Me time doesn’t have to be by yourself, time with your other half is really important. Rope family or friends into babysitting and go out for dinner or a movie. Even better if you do the pampering thing first.
Start Small
If all of the above is too much just start small. Why not try to do one thing per day for you. Instead of dusting paint your nails. Instead of going to the supermarket do the food shop online and watch Netflix at the same time.
Whatever it is just do something for you regularly – because you are very important. Let’s face it if Mum’s not happy neither is anyone else! 😉
So true and well worth remembering. After all if we were on a plane we’d be asked to apply our masks first right. #MarvMondays
These are all great ideas. I was terrible at first for not making time myself, now I make sure I have at least 10 minutes to myself a day. #marvmondays
I can so relate to this! And YES to Gilmore Girls ? This blogging lark seems to be taking up a lot of my time, but if I can, I take some time for myself. It’s so important and what are we trying to prove if we don’t? x #SharingtheBlogLove
It’s so important isn’t it? Just to have a little time to yourself each week helps. I think it’s also good for the kids to have quality time with they daddy, relatives or aunties and uncles without me hanging about! You might like one of my first posts on The Importance of the Me-Treat. Lovely coming across your blog again via #KCACOLS
Me time is so important, but its the one thing that I am terrible at! Especially since baby number two came along so this is a great reminder to start doing a couple of things for me each week 🙂 Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Emily
So pleased you got some time to chill and didn’t feel guilty. Great tips too. Especially the one about starting small. Even the mental thought process of planning a little thing for yourself, no matter how small can help. Thanks for linking #KCACOLS
Fab tips that we should all be applying! We need to make time for ourselves #KCACOLS
Such fab tips. We always need to make time for ourselves 🙂
Great post and some great tips! Really pleased you are enjoying the time for yourself. I’m sure you do more than enough to deserve it and you’re totally right about the house! My husband and I have just had 2 weeks off work; We sent our daughter to nursery like normal for 6 of those days – they can keep her more entertained than we can anyway! It was wonderful to indulge in some ‘us’ and ‘me’ time. I’m going to keep it up having read your post. #KCACOLS
Great tips, it’s so important to make time for yourself. x #KCACOLS
We take it turns to get up on the weekend, but I have to do all the housework etc because I’m a sahm at the moment. That said, now I get allllll day while he’s at school to muck around online and watch Netflix. #KCACOLS
Top tips! I have two girls under 3 years and wow finding time to myself is difficult! #KCACOLS
Yes can imagine that’s a bit difficult! Slightly easier when you just have one 5 year old! 🙂
Its so important to find a way to have time for yourself. It has been difficult for me to do this for the past 2 years with having both girls home with me. But with my eldest starting school and Holly that bit older, I can see that I will have opportunities to have a bit of me time. Great tips! Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x
I’m lucky that I have a wonderful husband who always makes sure I get some time to myself at the weekend if I need it – often I spend it in the garden, or head out to meet a friend, it’s lovely! We also have an unspoken alternating lie-in agreement at the weekend. And I’m lucky to have my parents nearby for the odd spot of babysitting too. But I can imagine that those opportunities are easier to carve out once they get a bit older – eating a bag of malteasers sounds just amazing! Thanks so much for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
I could not agree more. I am a stay at home mum and therefore feel it is my ‘job’ to always look after the kids; but in the same sense perhaps I should allow myself some ‘annual leave’?!
I’m in a tricky time with two toddlers, neither of which are in school full time and both of whom require a lot of attention. My latest post had an element of focusing on oneself in it, so I’m trying to head in the right direction!
#KCACOLS
This is so true. It’s so easy to forget to make time for yourself. I’m getting better at it and have learned to leave the housework sometimes when my little girl naps, as there’s always something much more fun or relaxing that I could be doing! And like you say, if mum’s happy, everyone’s happy! #KCACOLS
I think a bikini wax is more or less always more appealing than looking after the kid! Great ideas for a bit of me time x #KCACOLS
My daughter goes to her grandparents once a week and for the most part I use that time to do work and get household jobs done, but I do often take a bit of time after dropping her off to just sit, eat some toast, drink some coffee and watch something on the tv, Gilmore Girls is a favourite of mine too! x #KCACOLS