After work the other day I was thinking about how I’ve changed since becoming a parent – and not just because I can survive on 5 hours sleep or answer questions about any subject known to man.
I was mid-20s when I started in my current job, very shy, never spoke up or said no, and generally got walked all over. Every review my boss told me I needed to be more assertive but it just wasn’t me. Now in my mid 30s I can see that I’ve changed without consciously trying to. A lot of this is no doubt down to age and experience, but I do think that a big part of it is down to becoming a mum.
Tougher
I definitely don’t let people walk all over me now, whether it’s work colleagues or in my personal life. Being a mum is so stressful and hectic I just don’t have time for any bullsh*t. I’m far too busy with much more important things to spend time listening to other people’s crap!
Braver
I used to hate speaking to people I didn’t know, both on the phone and in person, like really hate it to a point that I’d get myself worked up before making a phone call. I still don’t like making small talk with randoms, but after you’ve been to a few baby groups and chatted to other parents in the park you just get used to it. I am definitely much more confident with approaching people I don’t know.
Opinionated
Voicing my opinions at work was always a struggle as well. More for the worry that they’d think I was wrong and/or stupid. As a mum, you come across so many people (other parents, health visitors, strangers in the supermarket, idiots online) who disagree with your parenting techniques that you get to the point that you don’t really care whether people agree with you or not!
Fighter
Having a child definitely teaches you to fight your corner, you have a little person who needs you to speak up for them. We’re lucky to never have had a major issue to fight on Little H’s behalf, but even just trying to tell doctors on a third visit that she has more than a little cough, or telling the school that they will keep that horrible bully away from your kid, teaches you to fight for what you want. After all, if we don’t fight for our kids, who will?! And I definitely think it helps you to stand up for yourself in other parts of life – god help the person who pushes in front of me in a queue!
Worrier
On the negative side though I’m much more of a worrier than I was before becoming a mum. There’s so much crap in the world to worry about when you have a child, and I definitely think you’re more aware of the dangers when you have someone else to look out for. I’m constantly on edge thinking about all the ways that she could come to harm, and I definitely think about things before doing them a lot more than I would have done before. I’m also a lot more emotional, I never ever used to cry at films, now I find my self welling up at adverts and completely avoid anything like Comic Relief or Children In Need, those videos are far too tear-jerking for me now!
On the whole, I think becoming a mum has made me a better person and hopefully, my family and friends would agree with that.
Do you think you have changed since becoming a parent?
II agree to some extend with you. I was already quite assertive before 🙂 Lovely blog layout #MarvMondays
I know was like that before becoming a mum- I was quiet in work and although they knew I was very capable through 1 to 1 chats if I was in a group I wouldn’t display what I thought. Now when I go back to work in September I’ll be a lot more vocal as just as you say, I just don’t have time for bullsh*t anymore! I think we are actually very similar 🙂 #marvmondays
We definitely sound alike! Good luck for September, hope your return to work goes smoothly 🙂
I think age plays a part too, I have been much more confident with time, and would do anything to stand up for my kids #MarvMondays
I could have written this post myself word for word! I am constantly saying I don’t put up with any bullsh*t anymore and am much more confident at talking to strangers because of baby groups and random people talking to me in the street/park/supermarket to comment on the baby! I hope I have become more confident and I can use that when I go back to work – I’ve definitely learnt a lot of multitasking skills that will serve me well in my job! Fab post #marvmondays
Such a lovely post. I definitely agree that becoming a mum changes you, and for the better. I’m definitely more comfortable in my skin and comfortable for standing up for myself and my family, and its actually been a really nice realisation that I’ve become more comfortable and stronger in that way 🙂 Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Emily
This is so true, I think I had a mini identity crisis when I had my first, it’s hard to figure out who you are still when all of a sudden there’s this little person who relies on you so completely! and being a mum is all consuming at the best of times – not that we’d change it for the world.
P.s. I cried at Dora Explorer the other day…what can I say, it was emotional!
I have changed; more confident in some ways, less in others. I definitely experience social anxiety in a way I didnt before. I get really self conscious mixing with the other parents at school, I guess its just because I dont get out an about as much as I used to. #stayclassy
I love how you’ve changed in such positive ways since becoming a parent although I can definitely understand becoming more worried and emotional, too! I am only 6 months in and I’m not entirely sure yet how I’ve changed. I’m obviously less selfish. I am a lot happier, too. I think I probably am a bit bolder at sticking by my choices but I’ve never been too shy! #StayClassyMama
I completely agree, becoming a Mum has made me more confident at work and in the outside world. I don’t care what other people think about me anymore, it’s their opinion and they’re allowed to have it. I’ve had my boobs and private bits out for everyone to see I even feel more confident in the gym when changing! Haha thanks for the inspiration and sharing with #StayClassyMama!