If I say the words “mum guilt” I bet all the mums reading this will know exactly what I mean.
It’s the silly things that you find yourself agonising over, and feeling guilty for. Maybe you sit at work worrying about them or lie awake in the middle of the night telling yourself that you’re a bad parent because you’ve forgotten to do something.
Today (or last week when I wrote this!) I’ve felt “mum guilt” over these things:
- I sent my daughter to school in her summer uniform even though it was overcast this morning because her winter uniform is in the wash…and then it snowed.
- I let her play on the iPad for over an hour after school so that I could get some housework done and check my emails.
- She had chips with her dinner for the second night in a row because I forgot to do the online shop and we’ve run out of everything else.
- It’s my turn to read the bedtime story but I’m going out with a friend so Daddy is doing it again even though he’s not feeling very well.
In the grand scheme of things, I don’t think social services are going to be knocking at my door any time soon, and she’s happy and well fed (even if it is on chips!), but I feel a bit rubbish about it all none the less.
But why do us mums feel so guilty about pointless things? Things that will most likely be completely forgotten about by tomorrow.
I blame social media for a lot of it. Seeing the perfect mums posting photos of perfect dinners in their perfectly clean kitchens.
However, I think we put most of the pressure on ourselves by thinking that we have to be supermum. At the end of the day who cares if my child’s had chips for dinner 2 days in a row? She certainly doesn’t – to her, that makes me “the best mummy ever” because I’m not nagging her to eat vegetables for once!
So if you’re reading this, it’s time to stop feeling mum guilt over the little things.
Us mums are awesome!
We manage to get a hell of a lot done in a day, whether we stay at home or go to work we hardly ever sit still, and 5 minutes to yourself is extremely rare (most of the time we don’t even have the luxury of going to the toilet on our own!) so it’s no wonder that we forget to put the washing in or do the food shopping now and then.
So stop obsessing over the things you haven’t done and focus on the things you have done today – letting them do crafts even though you detest paint and glitter; sat freezing your bum off in the park because they wanted to go; or slaved over an amazing meal that they didn’t eat.
Whatever is it I bet you’ve done more fantastic things today than the few things you’re feeling guilty about!