No matter what your family situation is, I’m sure you’re regularly asked questions about your reproductive plans by family, friends and strangers on the street.
It’s almost as though once a woman hits her mid-20s a lot of people think it’s ok to start asking personal questions.
It’s not ok.
I thought once I had a baby it would stop but I was wrong, it actually gets worse. You just can’t win, if you don’t have a baby you get asked when you are going to have one. If you have one you’ll get asked when you are having another. And I know from friends, if you have more than 1 of the same sex, you’ll be asked whether you are trying for a baby of the opposite sex.
As the mum of an only child who’s almost 5, I get asked a lot when/if I am having another baby. I don’t mind it too much if it’s family or close friends as I figure they do genuinely have an interest in our life, but when it’s a random woman in the supermarket (yes that’s happened several times) or a school mum I don’t even know (has also happened), then I do mind being asked.
What plans my husband and I do or don’t have for our family is nobody else’s concern, I shouldn’t have to explain our reasons for having an only child and I’m not going to.
We’re very lucky that it’s our decision to stop at one, but what about people who have problems conceiving or have had miscarriages. Why don’t people consider how these prying questions might make them feel? It’s just incredibly rude and insensitive.
Dad’s don’t get asked these questions either, and come to think of it men don’t seem to ask the question. It’s mainly just nosey mums asking other mums, these are the ones who should know better!
I’m not very good at confrontation so I usually smile, bite my tongue and answer politely, but I’m getting really bored with it now.
I’ve come up with 5 answers that I’d love to give to shut people up.
How to answer those annoying baby questions…
- No, I’m not having a second baby, you mums with more than 1 child look way too tired
- Another baby? I actually have newborn sextuplets at home
- We don’t need another child, our first attempt was perfect
- Never, I don’t like children
- Oh god, my other child! Where did I put her?
I doubt I’d be brave enough to use any of these responses, but you probably don’t want to be the next person to ask just in case you catch me on a bad day!