No matter what your family situation is, I’m sure you’re regularly asked questions about your reproductive plans by family, friends and strangers on the street.
It’s almost as though once a woman hits her mid-20s a lot of people think it’s ok to start asking personal questions.
It’s not ok.
I thought once I had a baby it would stop but I was wrong, it actually gets worse. You just can’t win, if you don’t have a baby you get asked when you are going to have one. If you have one you’ll get asked when you are having another. And I know from friends, if you have more than 1 of the same sex, you’ll be asked whether you are trying for a baby of the opposite sex.
As the mum of an only child who’s almost 5, I get asked a lot when/if I am having another baby. I don’t mind it too much if it’s family or close friends as I figure they do genuinely have an interest in our life, but when it’s a random woman in the supermarket (yes that’s happened several times) or a school mum I don’t even know (has also happened), then I do mind being asked.
What plans my husband and I do or don’t have for our family is nobody else’s concern, I shouldn’t have to explain our reasons for having an only child and I’m not going to.
We’re very lucky that it’s our decision to stop at one, but what about people who have problems conceiving or have had miscarriages. Why don’t people consider how these prying questions might make them feel? It’s just incredibly rude and insensitive.
Dad’s don’t get asked these questions either, and come to think of it men don’t seem to ask the question. It’s mainly just nosey mums asking other mums, these are the ones who should know better!
I’m not very good at confrontation so I usually smile, bite my tongue and answer politely, but I’m getting really bored with it now.
I’ve come up with 5 answers that I’d love to give to shut people up.
How to answer those annoying baby questions…
- No, I’m not having a second baby, you mums with more than 1 child look way too tired
- Another baby? I actually have newborn sextuplets at home
- We don’t need another child, our first attempt was perfect
- Never, I don’t like children
- Oh god, my other child! Where did I put her?
I doubt I’d be brave enough to use any of these responses, but you probably don’t want to be the next person to ask just in case you catch me on a bad day!
This is my pet peeve! I think it is such a rude question. I know many people that suffer with conceiving so it can be very hurtful
The last one! You should definitely use that one when people ask haha! I understand though, having 3 boys, I am always asked when I’ll be trying for a girl
Haha maybe I will next time I get asked. Especially if it’s a random woman in the supermarket, then I can run off pretending I’ve left her in the frozen food aisle or something! 😉
LOVED reading this! You’re right too, it’s never dads that get asked…. neither men that do the asking. Crazy, huh?! It was just a week after I gave birth when someone asked me when I was going to try for another….. I felt like bopping them on the head! I always feel like I have to justify wanting one and just one child. We shouldn’t have to! Thanks for sharing x
Thanks Rebecca 🙂 Like anyone is thinking about more babies a week after giving birth!!
Brilliant! I love your responses too please please tell me you will actually say them. It would be fantastic. I got from the moment I met hubby premarriage when you getting married? moment I got married literally on my wedding day? So when you planning on children? First baby in my arms? Do you think you will have another right away? I have two now and still get asked anymore? A third perhaps? I have a boy and girl so I don’t have the same sex question on the third but it’s a battle of never ending what’s next questions from like you said the most random people ever. Never ends. I actually when to a christening last week say a lovely couple engaged sat next table in 20s and every one that passed said to them or ask them about having babies. I really wanted to lean over and just say let them get married first people. :0 Thanks for sharing your blog post on #ShareWithMe I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great sharing round.
Haha it depends if someone gets me on a bad day – I’ll let you know 😉 Yes agree it’s never ending, marriage, babies, more babies…
I am right there with you! Our little girl wasn’t more than 2 months old when people started asking us about a second! My only reprieve right now is that I have a girl AND a boy. Apparently that keeps the nosy naysayers quiet… for awhile! 😉
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could easily say what we really want to say! I didn’t have another child until my 1st was nearly 5 and I had quite a few questions too. Then I ended up having twins, so I was glad I waited!!
Hahaha those list of of responses made me laugh! I’d love to see the reaction’s on the faces of those on the receiving end of them haha, it would be a picture wouldn’t it?! Although I don’t have kids I can imagine that is extremely annoying to hear from people all the time nosey personal questions and I’d probably feel the exact same way in those situations too. People need to learn where to draw the line don’t they?! 🙂
VioletDaffodils
xx
One day someone will catch me at the wrong time and I’ll snap one of those answers back!
I LOVE the prepared answers. I find telling whoever is nosey enough to ask, the news that you’ve actually lost your 2nd baby and had no luck since then is quite good at shutting them up too. Once you’re able to talk about it, the awkwardness is shifted to them, which I think is their problem for putting you on the spot in the first place!
Absolutely their problem and exactly why they shouldn’t be asking in the first place!