I’m not sure why, but this week I’ve seen quite a bit of seemingly ‘anti-working mum’ comments.
On Tuesday Sky News asked the question “Can working mums be good mums?”.
They even invited a moron man from ‘Justice for Men & Boys’ to speak live on air voicing his opinion that kids of working mums don’t do as well.
Personally, I can’t understand why anyone felt the need to ask that question in 2016. Why does whether you go to work or not have any reflection on your parenting abilities? Does it mean that all stay at home mums must be fantastic parents?
If they can get away with asking that, then surely it’s only fair to follow up with “Can working dads be good dads?”, but of course, that kind of question never gets asked because only working mums get flack for not being with their kids 24/7. Dad’s just get a pat on the back for being a man and providing for the family.
“Your children will remember whether you were there for them or not…”
So I was already a bit annoyed when this image popped up in my Facebook news feed on Wednesday.
The comments were a mix of working mums taking offence to the quote and stay at home mums defending it or saying that the working mums had got the wrong end of the stick.
I did actually take offence to it. How dare anyone assume what my daughter will remember. I will bet money that when she’s grown up she will remember the house she grew up in and the fun days out we had as a family, more than she’ll remember the fact that I worked to help pay for it all.
Don’t give in to the “mummy guilt”
It’s obviously easier to ignore all of these stupid comments and news stories and get on with your life, and most of the time I just think “f#%&ing idiots” and keep scrolling.
But I’m a mum of a school-aged child, and as she’s not around for me to look after all day anyway I don’t feel bad about working. However, when you’re a working mum to a baby or toddler, not a day goes by when you don’t feel guilty for leaving your child with someone else while you go to work. When missing important milestones like first steps or words reduce you to tears because you were at work instead. These mums don’t need to come home and see someone spouting off about how they don’t make good mums or their child will just remember that they weren’t there.
There’s no need to be made to feel guilty for providing for your family.
There’s no need to feel guilty about showing your child that you’re a fantastic role model who works hard.
And there’s not even any need to feel guilty if you actually like going to work and having some child-free time.
On the flip side, there’s also no need to feel guilty if you stay at home rather than go to work.
There are plenty of reasons, however, to feel guilty for publicly slating the personal choices of other mums who are just doing their best.
There are also reasons to feel guilty for sticking your nose into other people’s business and making assumptions about how they look after their children.
The only parents I judge are the ones who seem to be more bothered about what other mums are doing than focussing on their own parenting.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we all just got on with looking after our own kids and let other mums do the same?